Mom on Trial: The Case for Quitting Corporate Life

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to The Balancing Act. I’m your host, Sarah Sheridan, mom of three little girls and director of sales and recruiting at Hirewell, super excited to welcome today’s guest, Amanda Hausmann. She is a mom of little ones, an attorney turned entrepreneur. Amanda, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me, Sarah.

[00:00:21] So excited to be here. Yeah, no, we’re excited to have you. Well, lots we wanna cover today, so we’ll just kind of dive right in. Sounds good. To kick things off, can you tell us a little bit more about your career journey? Yes. So you mentioned I’m a former attorney turned entrepreneur. I am a mom of two girls.

[00:00:40] My husband and I met in law school on the first day, and we graduated law school in 2014. Back then, I was a young, ambitious trial attorney. I worked for AAA and then nationwide insurance companies representing their insureds anytime they were sued. So did a lot of trial work for them for about five years, and then I pivoted to do [00:01:00] contract law

[00:01:01] working for BJC Health System in St. Louis. I led a couple teams over there and helped with their both contract negotiations and their contracting processes. As you know, life with children, and working full time can be fast paced and stressful and a little bit hectic. So after having my second child and returning from maternity leave, that’s exactly what I experienced. I was

[00:01:25] That’s when it hits you too. It’s the return from maternity leave. Yeah. I was, I was quickly burnt out. And for me, having children, like puts a magnifying glass on every other aspect of your life and it really made me evaluate what was fulfilling me, what was taking my time during my day and

[00:01:44] how it was affecting my ability to be a mother. And so. At the end of 2024, my husband and I just turned to each other after days of, you know, me being stressed out and short-tempered and like trying to figure out who’s gonna pick up the kids tonight and who’s gonna [00:02:00] take off when they, we get the call during the day that the kids are sick, right?

[00:02:02] Like, after just all of that stress and tension for the year of 2024, we said, okay, we’re gonna, we’re gonna try to do something different here. So I pivoted from full-time legal work to the entrepreneurial world. Love it. Love it. Yeah. And I feel like that’s, that’s a pattern we’ve seen in my podcast guests, so not alone in that.

[00:02:20] Awesome. Well thanks for summarizing that for us. And you know, just kind of going back to your initial career when you were an attorney, kind of trying cases. Yeah. You described that time as very like fast-paced, exciting. What did that season teach you about kind of your work ethic, confidence?

[00:02:39] Just what, what motivates you? Yeah, so when I applied for my first job out of law school, a lot of the job postings were asking for three to five years experience, and it’s like, how do you get experience without having experience? Right, right. That’s very frustrating. As a recent grad, so I started applying for jobs that I wasn’t qualified for and at AAA they had a job posting for [00:03:00] a trail attorney, and they were looking for somebody with five years experience. I had. No experience, right? I had, I had moot court, in law school, which is appellate work, and I had a little bit of trial advocacy work in law school, but nothing that I could really sell as five years experience.

[00:03:14] But I applied anyway and I got the job and I was really surprised when they called me for an interview. And actually the first question was during the interview, did you know you don’t have the experience required for this job? I said, yes, I know. Yes, I’m aware. I said, but I think that you can teach me

[00:03:30] ’cause I love to learn. So, that season of my life taught me to have confidence in yourself. Put yourself out there. The answer is always going to be no unless you ask. Right. So, so ask about great tip to job seekers too. Yes, yes, yes. The other thing that I learned during that season of my life was. I thought going to law school was gonna teach me how to be an attorney.

[00:03:50] It did not, it taught me how to think like an attorney, like how to think critically. But I didn’t know how to try a case. I didn’t even know what to do. When you show up for a docket hearing at a [00:04:00] courthouse, I’m like, I walked in the first day and I’m like. What do I do? Where do I sit? Who do I talk to?

[00:04:04] What’s a docket sheet? I didn’t know any of this stuff, so I found myself working, you know, nine to five, but then also like going to hearings that weren’t for me, just to watch and see what other attorneys were doing and going to trials for other attorneys just to watch and see how they actually conducted a trial.

[00:04:23] And so it taught me a lot about work ethic in law school. I, you know, you have to have work ethic to get through that. But that was like all about, you know, me getting my work done. This was about me learning how to do a job and I had to show up even outside of the things that I was required to do to get the job done if I wanted to learn how to do it.

[00:04:44] For sure, for sure. And now pivoting a little bit more to family life, I know when you and I were talking, you mentioned. After your first child, you kind of struggled to find that balance, which I think is all too relatable. [00:05:00] Yeah. And you kind of mentioned you felt like you could hustle your way to happiness.

[00:05:04] What did, what did that look like for you day to day? So after having my first child, I was working from home following the pandemic, and day to day looked like me getting my daughter up in the morning, getting her dressed and getting her in the car, and taking a call from the car while I drove to daycare.

[00:05:24] Typically walking in with an earbud in and being on a phone call, dropping her off, coming back home and then being on work calls back to back to back all day long. There were days that I didn’t stand up. From my desk, I bought a standup desk just because I was like literally worried about blood clots.

[00:05:41] Yeah. Yeah. And there were days I didn’t eat a meal. Right. And then it would be me trying to race back to the daycare before they closed at six o’clock, beating that six o’clock, closing time. And then fielding the inevitable, your daughter is sick because she’s been at daycare right for three weeks and they become [00:06:00] sick immediately.

[00:06:00] So fueling those. Also, pink, die hand, foot and mouth, pick your, all of the things. Right. All she, my oldest had every illness I think that she could have, could have gotten, she had it. And so it was like looking to my husband and who was also working from home at the time, which, that’s a whole other story, right.

[00:06:19] Looking at him like, okay. Who’s gonna shift their day? How are we gonna take care of this child at home now? And it was just a lot of racing and trying to find a balance that candidly, Sarah, I don’t know that we ever found. Right. I know I need to change the name of my podcast because what I’ve learned is balance is not a thing.

[00:06:38] Yeah. Right, right. I think that’s so relatable and I’ve definitely felt that way. And then, you know, when we continue to talk, you mentioned really after that second child, responsibility at work increased. And you just kind of described feeling you, you kind of mentioned this, but like kind of just on an edge, not fully present.

[00:06:56] I think that’s a huge one. Right. Was there like a moment [00:07:00] when you realized something had to change or was it just kind of like the grind of the day to day that you just described and just kind of that you hit a breaking point? There was a moment, but up until then, all of the things you just said. Are exactly what happened to me, right?

[00:07:15] Like I would pick my girls up from school 5:30 ish, but I would’ve my phone in my pocket and it would be going off until 10 o’clock at night, right? With emails or teams chats from various people in my organization. So even though I was with my children in the evenings, I was never mentally present, I was always the teams chats, right?

[00:07:34] Yeah. Always, always, always on the clock for my employer. And I was very short tempered, right? Because then I felt like I’m trying to be a present mother and I’m trying to have these, you know, memories and play puzzles and games with my kids, but I’m also trying to work on the side over here. And so I just felt so spread thin and short tempered, and it just didn’t go.

[00:07:54] Didn’t go how I thought my motherhood journey would look like. And so yeah, there was one moment, one day I was working, it was the [00:08:00] afternoon I had back to back meetings all afternoon and I had a big meeting with a couple vice presidents that I was looking forward to. It was finally meeting that we had gotten scheduled on the calendar and I got a call from both of my girls’ school that they both needed to come home at the same time.

[00:08:14] And I was like, okay, how do I do this? Yeah. How do I have this meeting with these vice presidents who I’ve been waiting to talk to for a couple months? Also take care of both of my sick children. Do I call my husband and inconvenience him, right? Do I tell these vice presidents like I have to reschedule, I’m terribly sorry and inconvenience them.

[00:08:34] If my husband picks up, my girls like. I’m one, I’m the mom. I wanna be the one to cuddle and take care of them. Right? Like, I feel like I’m letting them down, not being there as their mother. So in that moment, Sarah, I literally just started crying. It’s like, I can’t, yeah. How do I do the impossible? Like I can’t be everywhere and be everything to everyone all the time.

[00:08:53] Yeah. Just felt, it just felt like way too much. And just for a little bit of levity. In this moment, I [00:09:00] believe in grounding. So I like went outside and I took my shoes off and I just stood in my backyard, right? And working from home, I had like on a nice shirt and like sweatpants. So I looked, I looked like a hot mess, right?

[00:09:10] But I was just like taking a breath and I’m just crying. Yeah. And my neighbors were getting their house reroofed and these roofers were cracking up laughing at the crazy woman in her backyard who Looks ridiculous crying. And I, they had no idea what I was going through, but, it made me laugh that they were laughing at me.

[00:09:31] So I, you know, I sent an email and sent an email and said, Hey, my kids need me. I’m sorry. Yeah. I have to go. And we rescheduled. But that day, that evening, my husband and I had a conversation. We were like, this, this can’t be, this is not how we want our parenthood journey to go. So we committed to figuring out something else.

[00:09:50] I love that you can pin it down to like a specific moment. I think a lot of it, it’s just like an inflection point you can’t keep doing. Yeah. Like the same insanity. Yeah, [00:10:00] no, I love that. Yeah. No, it was, it was a moment and it was, on view for the whole neighborhood. Right. A shared moment. Yes.

[00:10:09] Well then, so when you and I were talking, you talked a lot about, We Are The Women Awakened Program. Yes. Kind of a big, very big turning point for you. I was not familiar with this. So if you can kind of briefly describe what this is and then what initially drew you to the class and what did you end up discovering about yourself and the process?

[00:10:30] Yeah, so, We Are The Women Awakened was a program that I found because your phones are always listening to you. It knew what I was struggling with and it was sending me advertisements for this program. And it’s a program for working women, typically mothers who just feel burnt out trying to be everything for everyone and trying to find a way to continue to climb the corporate ladder and also be present with your family.

[00:10:54] It’s a class that teaches you skills. And it’s a class meant for women who are at the point where they’re like, I [00:11:00] think I have to quit my job. This is the class where you, before you quit your job, let us teach you some skills to help you get past this, and maybe you do need to quit your job, which was the answer for me.

[00:11:11] But maybe you don’t. Maybe you just need to live and work differently. So this class taught me a lot, a lot of skills, tangible skills that I walked away with that really did help me. And I took this class after I had my first daughter. So I will say it helped me get through two and a half years, three years almost of motherhood, before I finally said, okay, I need to do something different.

[00:11:36] But I learned a lot through that class. I learned number one, a lot of life is about how you think, right? Because your thoughts control how you feel. Yeah. And how you feel controls how you act. So I learned that I really need to work on controlling my thoughts. I also learned that I am not responsible for anybody else’s feelings and they’re not responsible [00:12:00] for mine.

[00:12:00] So me being worried about canceling that meeting with those vice presidents and it making them feel a certain way, inconvenienced, frustrated, whatever they’re responsible for, how they feel. They can choose to feel a certain way or not feel a certain way. I’m not responsible for making them feel happy.

[00:12:17] Like at the end of the day, that’s how I felt. I was responsible for making everybody feel happy. I also learned a couple like really practical skills. To delete social media from your phone and start batch messaging all of your notifications on your phone to get them at night instead of during the day.

[00:12:34] Identify those that are critical for you, like your kids’ daycare and your calls that come through, but everything else, turn off the dinging on that until, for me, it’s 7:30 PM and when I did that, I felt an immense lift, like, oh, this phone isn’t going off. 4,000. Yeah. It less anxiety, right? Like 4,000 times.

[00:12:54] Okay. Really quick side note, I will tell you I ran out of gas on the highway. Don’t tell my husband this. I ran out of [00:13:00] gas on the highway because my car was dinging at me, right? That I was like low on gas. But Sarah, I swear to you, there are so many things in my life that ding this phone dings 50 million times a day that I didn’t even hear it dinging, telling you that I am low on gas.

[00:13:14] Like, oh, that’s just another, that’s just another buzz. Another dinger like, and then I’m on highway 40 in St. Louis, and it’s like the car’s slowing down. I’m like, oh, that ding was important. This is a real ding. Yeah. So, but that class, I mean, it taught me so many valuable things that I wasn’t learning. I certainly didn’t learn in school.

[00:13:37] Yeah. And I didn’t learn through any leadership program that any of my prior employers had put me through. That’s amazing. Yeah. It sounds like. Obviously it was for kind of executive level moms. Yes. But that’s lessons almost in everyone’s life. Yes. Especially in today’s world with social media and just all this information constantly hitting you.

[00:13:56] Yes. That’s great. Yeah. And what I really loved about it was [00:14:00] like, it wasn’t all theory, you know, it was a lot of like practical tips. So one of the other things they taught was like how to process the feelings that you’re having, rather than just going, I’m feeling anxious, I’m feeling mad. Right. So acknowledging that feeling first and then how to like let it move through you.

[00:14:20]  So some skills that they taught me were like, and I still do it all the time. If I’m like frustrated or mad, they taught me this backstroke technique that I just stand in my office and backstroke for three minutes, and afterwards I feel so much better. Or if I’m feeling anxious about something, they have this hand to heart technique.

[00:14:37] You just put your hand on your heart and you deep breathe for like 45 seconds and you can feel yourself physically calming down. And so it wasn’t all theory. It was a lot of really helpful tools that I learned through this class. Yeah, that’s amazing. Yeah. And even those tips, I mean, this all goes a long way.

[00:14:55] Yeah. And then it helped me stay, it helped me stay in my job. Let me tell you, it helped me stay in my job [00:15:00] for quite a while. ‘Cause there were days where I was like back stroking through the day, like. Whatever you gotta do. That’s right. Another thing I love that you mentioned kind of a takeaway from this course is emotional growth and like the act of being able to like.

[00:15:17] Respond instead of react, which I think is something, it doesn’t matter if you’re working, not working, like I think moms are put to the task to try and do this every day. Yes. And it’s like when things get stressful, which is usually many moments in the day, especially late at night when you’re kind of outta gas. That really like, I think hit home with me ’cause I think there’s so many moments and I was like, I reflect and I think, oh, I wish I, you know, would’ve kind of just taken a breath before responding or reacting. Yeah. Can you maybe just walk us through like a specific real life moment where that practice like really helped you stay in the moment

[00:15:57] grounded even [00:16:00] like with your kids or maybe even one, launching your business, just any, any kind of specifics where that showed up? Yeah. I used this technique the other day actually. So my husband was busy doing something, so I took my two girls to an event here in town and there was a bounce house, so the girls were bouncing.

[00:16:17] It got a little hectic inside the bounce house. And when we came home later that night, my oldest daughter was telling Jared about the bounce house, and she was saying that it got a little crazy in there. There were a lot of kids jumping and I didn’t really like it. And so my husband turned to me and he said, do you think that was safe?

[00:16:33] And when he said that to me, what I heard was, were you taking care of our children? Were you watching them? Were you being being a good mom? Like that’s what, that’s what I heard him say, right. Questioning. Questioning my ability to care for my children. And that just. That just sets me over the edge, right?

[00:16:53] Because like that’s, yeah, mama bear comes out. I’m a mama bear, right? I’m like, I take care of my children. Like I know that’s one [00:17:00] thing that I’m confident about. I may not be confident on a lot of things. That’s one thing I’m confident about. And so what I wanted to say was, are you questioning my ability to care for our children?

[00:17:10] Why didn’t you take the day off and go to the event? I wanted to get sassy and snap back, but instead of doing that, I remembered this class I literally took a breath, and I said, okay. I’m feeling very aggravated and very annoyed that he is questioning that. But then I said, okay, he’s not really questioning my motherhood.

[00:17:31] He just asked, was it safe? And so I answered the question that he asked. I took a second, and instead of answering what I thought he was asking me, I answered his question. I said, yes, it was safe. So it got a little crazy. But the girls got out and we went to the next thing. And then that was the end of the conversation, right?

[00:17:50] Because what could have happened that could have turned into a whole Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. Right. A whole evening or multiple days of tension between my husband and I. But I [00:18:00] paused, I acknowledged how I was feeling. I re-listened to the question that he asked me, and then I answered it. So I responded to his question instead of reacting to what I thought he was saying.

[00:18:11] I feel like this would be a really good practice postpartum, right? You’re like sleep deprived and just a lot of it falls on the mom and just the feeding the wakings and it’s just like, it’s so easy to jump to conclusions and it almost feels automatic and I think just like, it seems like you did a lot of practice around this, but.

[00:18:34] And you talk a lot about speed, adrenaline, you know, just that fast pace of today’s life, and I think you’re so right. It’s so valuable to just like stop, you know, listen, go inward, and then respond or then react or then, or know, share with your child what mid temper tantrum. Something that could help versus getting in like a power struggle.

[00:18:59] Absolutely. [00:19:00] Absolutely. I will tell you, if I had learned this skill and thought to apply it postpartum, it would’ve changed things. It’s funny, I learned all of these skills and I really thought about applying them at work. I didn’t think about like applying them to my children or to my spouse. And then when I realized, oh, this works, this works outside of the business.

[00:19:21] It helped. So, yeah, postpartum, this would’ve been great if you’re like, if you have enough, brain power to remember to do this, there’s enough going on up there. Right? Yeah. Well, I do wanna, you know, give enough time to the mom moment, ’cause you know, we talked about practicing attorney. And then ultimately you took a class and you did decide to leave your job and create Mom Moment.

[00:19:44] So I think that class was a big inspiration for you to take the leap. But would love to just learn a little bit more about how this new chapter does reflect kind of what you’ve learned about balance, purpose, and kind of how you’re showing up today. Well, thank [00:20:00] you so yes, Mom Moment is

[00:20:03] all about balance and purpose. Mom moment is a service marketplace app where busy working moms can hire, like stay at home moms or retired moms or anybody else who has time on their hands and wants to lend a hand to busy moms. So anything that’s on your to-do list. Think things like cooking, cleaning, organizing, running that goodwill donation across town that’s been in your trunk for six months.

[00:20:26] All of that stuff that you just feel like you don’t have the time or desire to do. There are other moms particularly out there who are willing to help you. So there are two apps, Mom Moment Asker and Mom Moment Helper and Askers can find and book local helpers who have their profiles, what they’re good at, what they like to do, and what their hourly rates are.

[00:20:45]  The app and the business itself is really built around the two things you said, purpose and balance. We’re trying to give stay at home moms or retired moms purpose outside of raising children. You wanna do something other [00:21:00] than wipe a nose or change a diaper. And we’re trying to give balance to those women who work outside of their homes, you know, nine to five jobs.

[00:21:08] They want to be able to spend time with their kids and not have to worry about, right? How, how am I gonna find time to prepare the meals or do the laundry, or make that errand across town? So we’re really in the business of helping women find both balance and purpose. I love it. It’s created by mom, helping moms help moms, so, that’s right.

[00:21:28] Yeah. Yeah. Moms helping moms get things done is what it’s all about. Awesome. I mean, and even thinking about like coming up to the holidays when those little tiny things like doing your holiday card, doing your hand addressed. Well, you know, I joke, but that’s a lot of time that a lot of moms just don’t have available or you have to sacrifice something else for it.

[00:21:52] So, I think that’s, that’s amazing and such a need. So the holiday card you mentioned, how this business really came to [00:22:00] be was my daughter had a birthday party and I wanted to write thank you cards, but I didn’t have the time to write the thank you cards, but I wanted to write thank you cards.

[00:22:07] I’m just a big believer in handwritten notes. Me too, but I never have stamps. That’s always my like, yes, yes. I feel that so much. I went to the store the other day to get stamps and I, yeah. Yes. I feel that. But, so I wanted to write these thank you cards and I was scrolling Facebook and there was a mom who wanted to send her son on a school field trip, but she didn’t have money to send him, and she was wondering what she could sell inside her home

[00:22:34] to send him on this field trip. Like she was looking around her house, like, what can I list on marketplace? And I thought to myself, you can write these thank you cards for me. I’ll tell you who gave us what and you can write them and address them and put the stamps on them and send them out and I’ll pay you and I will get this test done.

[00:22:51] And so from that idea, or from that need really came the idea for mom moment. Yeah. There are moms out there who need each other. Right. [00:23:00] I love that. Yeah. Oh. Well, Amanda, thank you so much for joining us. Before we let you go though, I would love, like for all the moms listening who feel overwhelmed, which is every mom as we approach end of year.

[00:23:16] It’s just so much, so much on mom. Yeah. What is one small change that made the biggest difference for you? So. I am going to say something that’s maybe a little harder than it sounds, but I really encourage all moms to do it. Whether you are married or whether you’re single. Schedule a date, night schedule a date night with your partner, or schedule a self-care night for yourself to do something outside of your nine to five job, and then your five to nine job, right, with your kids.

[00:23:48] Find a night to go out and. Grab dinner, go bowling, take a dance lesson, see a movie. Go to a painting class, do something with your partner to connect with them, because [00:24:00] that is what came first, right before, before you became a mother most often. And I really think that when we connect back with the person in our life who we created our families with, it makes us a better mother.

[00:24:14] It makes us a better person, right? I’m certainly more happy when I feel more connected with my husband. So find a night to schedule time to work on yourself or work on your relationship with your partner. I love that. Yeah.  We reserve Thursday nights, and I’ll give you a little tip. We reserve Thursday nights as our night out, and sometimes we walk out the front door and then we literally walk in the back door and go to the basement.

[00:24:38] We just hide from our children, You can stay in just not with children. That sounds magical actually. Yes, yes. So some nights we do that. And then some nights, that’s the best way to spend a Thursday night. Oh, I love that. Well, thank you so much. Thank you. And I know the listeners enjoyed this one, and thank you all.

[00:24:58] Tune in next time for more [00:25:00] insights on balancing career and family.